Believing

I believe that when life changing moments occur, its God’s way of getting our attention.

I believe that if you are unconnected with God and Christ you interpret life’s happenings as triumphant moments where You fell down and You overcame and You motivated yourself to strive for better…I believe however, that all these are the works of the Lord and through Him are we strengthened to fight that great fight and indeed win the war.

I believe and thank God daily for knowing my heart and blessing me with enough grace to lean not on my less than sure footed understanding and steps in the ‘right’ direction….I believe, no , know, that my heart will forever hold on to His promise and that my wish , desire, longing is to finally get it right and rest in His embrace for the rest of my life…I believe he’ll give me even just for trying.

I believe in the work of the Church to fulfill God’s plan and I give thanks I was born in a Christian Country…cause if it’s this hard for one who was always surrounded by the Word, then failure would surely be my destiny if I had to convert from one religion to another. I believe the bretheren should edify themselves to be able to answer tough questions when posed by those just beyond the pearly gates…for we are all have come up short.

I believe that humans have an endless capacity to judge one another and themselves too harshly...regardless of our position on the ‘righteousness’ continuum. I thank God for being better than myself.

I believe in the power of prayer and whispering a blessing on the life of everyone you meet, I believe God hears, listens and will show His magnificence to not prove me wrong. I firmly believe it is by His Grace that I shall look back at the beginning thirty years later and say thank you Lord for bringing me to it and through it all…I will be at peace.

Focus failing

For a delicate being who can barely stand one day of rain let alone 5, it’s no wonder thoughts degenerate into contemplations of the baser, and certainly more exciting parts of life. I’ll blame these ramblings on the rain and only that cause in the midst of the storm, in times past, the opportunity was used to focus energy on a ready, willing and very able him.

A vivid picture of him stripped of all cotton confines is fixed in my mind. His execution of simple tasks like lifting your leg to rest on his shoulder prompts a choreographed piece - of muscle with flesh, each sinew a visible tease…his sweet smile when he notices not only the weather is wet.

Yes, in the cold of a rainy night, a melody tap, tapping on the windows, its the perfect time to treat a body to good love….to really whisper vulgar nothings in his ear, watch his toes curl from a taste or two…explore all of him…listen to his release….a woman should always find time to remind her man that love springs forth from her breasts, her hips and finger tips…her heart and the recesses of her perverted mind:0)

Understanding in Time

Give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus

Navigating the currents of life can be overwhelming for those not rooted ‘n’ grounded in their belief in the Most High one. Indeed the continuous ebb and flow, high tide and low, wreaks havoc on a weak being and manifests doubt in the promises He made to your heart when you cried out and were 'infilled'. Finding praise in these times is nothing short of a miracle and the spirit longs to be like some more sure, those who are thankful for tribulation recognizing and accepting that it is His will….

So a process which should’ve taken a day at most, is prolonged in the weakest among us to days…days spent trying to focus on His previous and present blessings, His comfort through other crisises, His peace in the face of His own demise, His resurrection from the dead…the overcoming principle of our faith. Yes in these times one is hard pressed to consider the great evil as a part of the puzzle, a patch in the quilt of the better life for you He is crafting.

Through the mire of wrong thinking though, praise whispers uncontrollably from within and claws its way through the anger, sorrow, disappointment and doubt and all it takes is a willing heart to listen, a moment of being still, a word from a friend….then one is able to cope..one can lift up scaled eyes and see beyond the natural circumstances to the blessing in the dark cloud.

Eventually one is able to give thanks and praise and crave forgiveness and His further indulgence as your faith grows.

Independence???

In the celebration of the earthday for the black, green and gold, I learnt of a video that was posted to Youtube..unfortunately.

In horror, disbelief and disgust I watched through tear filled eyes a symbol of law and order degenerate into the villains he swore to serve and protect the nation’s people from…an alleged guilty man was shot in cold blood…and despite the skewed reports, he was not, in my eyes, putting up a resistance sufficient to warrant such final and drastic action… the opportunity to let the justice system decide his fate was taken unceremoniously from him. Like a dog who bit his owner, his life was snuffed out…the life of a Jamaican was ended with disdain amidst cheers from a blood/ justice hungry crowd.

How can we rest easy knowing that love seemingly has no place in the pulse of our people?

I remember being young at school and singing with youthful exuberance songs of Independence,…I remember pledging “…to work diligently and creatively so that Jamaica may , under God increase in beauty, fellowship and prosperity..”, I remember the rhythm of “…this land is our heritage…ours to make or mar, ours to spoil or beautify, for shame or praise…” I remember being proud… But on that day, my spirit felt low.

My mind could not yield to the apparent reality that all hope was indeed lost….I thought we were on the right track, we’ve finally seen political will demonstrated to tackle the cliques which among other things, contribute to our underdevelopment….a brighter tomorrow seemed more than just a tale whispered in the ear of children before bed…what happened?

Have the prayers of our forefathers for freedom been answered in manifest ruthlessness to our own…are we so independent that we think and effect pure crap?

I pray that God will purge this land and its people of its atrocities, that the blood which soaks our soil will be washed clean along with our hearts, that our mind’s will be kissed with right thinking, that love will prevail…I pray that He makes us whole again and that next year I’ll listen to the strum of nationhood, patriotism, peace and kindness from riverside to the mountain top, from the cane fields to the sea…That Jamaica will once again be a land of beauty, that we will fulfill the promise to serve her with our talents with hands and heart united ..that we will work steadfastly and wisely to never bring her shame…I pray that in my lifetime, our hearts will salute a Jamaica that is triumphant, Proud and truly Emancipated.

Only Thinking

An indomitable force draws a being closer and closer to certain pleasurable doom…thoughts of salvation though now buried deeper down, reverberate in a head swimming with lust, feelings, the sight of him…woe to those whose minds’ are not renewed, whose spirits’ fight a daily battle to forget the feel, the touch, the smell and the salt taste of skin….Woe to those of weaker will.

An emancipated self strolls still in darkness, veiled…blinkered eyes focus on one thing and one thing only….meeting him part way…. going all the way…looking for the sheath…It seems such a simple cause to win. Can months and years of goodness be depleted by the sound of your name on his lips….one whisper punctures the protective casing.

Walking in the light provides an escape…but free will sometimes breaches the full armour……..knowing the truth… knowing it makes no sense to disobey commandments, break covenants for just a soft kiss…..but sill, the allure of fleeting deep emotion stimulates the senses, overpowers logical thought, plants a seed of sure defeat in the mutiny and becomes a chance your will surrenders to take.

Sin seduced and ripe… ready for the picking….does God creep in then?.....before? Can the heart and mind be receptive at the point of entry and eke out a good result?????