Understanding in Time

Give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus

Navigating the currents of life can be overwhelming for those not rooted ‘n’ grounded in their belief in the Most High one. Indeed the continuous ebb and flow, high tide and low, wreaks havoc on a weak being and manifests doubt in the promises He made to your heart when you cried out and were 'infilled'. Finding praise in these times is nothing short of a miracle and the spirit longs to be like some more sure, those who are thankful for tribulation recognizing and accepting that it is His will….

So a process which should’ve taken a day at most, is prolonged in the weakest among us to days…days spent trying to focus on His previous and present blessings, His comfort through other crisises, His peace in the face of His own demise, His resurrection from the dead…the overcoming principle of our faith. Yes in these times one is hard pressed to consider the great evil as a part of the puzzle, a patch in the quilt of the better life for you He is crafting.

Through the mire of wrong thinking though, praise whispers uncontrollably from within and claws its way through the anger, sorrow, disappointment and doubt and all it takes is a willing heart to listen, a moment of being still, a word from a friend….then one is able to cope..one can lift up scaled eyes and see beyond the natural circumstances to the blessing in the dark cloud.

Eventually one is able to give thanks and praise and crave forgiveness and His further indulgence as your faith grows.

Independence???

In the celebration of the earthday for the black, green and gold, I learnt of a video that was posted to Youtube..unfortunately.

In horror, disbelief and disgust I watched through tear filled eyes a symbol of law and order degenerate into the villains he swore to serve and protect the nation’s people from…an alleged guilty man was shot in cold blood…and despite the skewed reports, he was not, in my eyes, putting up a resistance sufficient to warrant such final and drastic action… the opportunity to let the justice system decide his fate was taken unceremoniously from him. Like a dog who bit his owner, his life was snuffed out…the life of a Jamaican was ended with disdain amidst cheers from a blood/ justice hungry crowd.

How can we rest easy knowing that love seemingly has no place in the pulse of our people?

I remember being young at school and singing with youthful exuberance songs of Independence,…I remember pledging “…to work diligently and creatively so that Jamaica may , under God increase in beauty, fellowship and prosperity..”, I remember the rhythm of “…this land is our heritage…ours to make or mar, ours to spoil or beautify, for shame or praise…” I remember being proud… But on that day, my spirit felt low.

My mind could not yield to the apparent reality that all hope was indeed lost….I thought we were on the right track, we’ve finally seen political will demonstrated to tackle the cliques which among other things, contribute to our underdevelopment….a brighter tomorrow seemed more than just a tale whispered in the ear of children before bed…what happened?

Have the prayers of our forefathers for freedom been answered in manifest ruthlessness to our own…are we so independent that we think and effect pure crap?

I pray that God will purge this land and its people of its atrocities, that the blood which soaks our soil will be washed clean along with our hearts, that our mind’s will be kissed with right thinking, that love will prevail…I pray that He makes us whole again and that next year I’ll listen to the strum of nationhood, patriotism, peace and kindness from riverside to the mountain top, from the cane fields to the sea…That Jamaica will once again be a land of beauty, that we will fulfill the promise to serve her with our talents with hands and heart united ..that we will work steadfastly and wisely to never bring her shame…I pray that in my lifetime, our hearts will salute a Jamaica that is triumphant, Proud and truly Emancipated.

Only Thinking

An indomitable force draws a being closer and closer to certain pleasurable doom…thoughts of salvation though now buried deeper down, reverberate in a head swimming with lust, feelings, the sight of him…woe to those whose minds’ are not renewed, whose spirits’ fight a daily battle to forget the feel, the touch, the smell and the salt taste of skin….Woe to those of weaker will.

An emancipated self strolls still in darkness, veiled…blinkered eyes focus on one thing and one thing only….meeting him part way…. going all the way…looking for the sheath…It seems such a simple cause to win. Can months and years of goodness be depleted by the sound of your name on his lips….one whisper punctures the protective casing.

Walking in the light provides an escape…but free will sometimes breaches the full armour……..knowing the truth… knowing it makes no sense to disobey commandments, break covenants for just a soft kiss…..but sill, the allure of fleeting deep emotion stimulates the senses, overpowers logical thought, plants a seed of sure defeat in the mutiny and becomes a chance your will surrenders to take.

Sin seduced and ripe… ready for the picking….does God creep in then?.....before? Can the heart and mind be receptive at the point of entry and eke out a good result?????

An Eyelash Wish

I’ve never wanted the sun, the moon, the rivers or the mountain from a man….I’ve never wanted diamonds and pearls….I want him as a partner…all of him;

I’m satisfied with a bloke that’ll try his damnedest to keep this pretty smile on my face, to bring laughter to my eyes and soul, exhaustion to my waist and comfort to my heart;

I dream of a him who displays the fruits of the Spirit, One who puts only God before me…..Someone to submit to…Someone to trust.

My spirit longs to be with a hopeless romantic who showers me with blessings, a rock on whom I can lean. An ambitious him that knows where he’s going, that’s 6 ft tall or more, will settle for 5ft 10” as well:0)…A true man, witty and sophisticated yet rough around the edges…the ability to deal with the bourgeoisie and the proletariat…A man with a kind heart and a patient hand. A pretty smile he should possess, a firm sure hug, a demanding tongue, sweet tender lips, a body that displays his commitment to maintaining the temple given him, a listener, a giver and humble receiver…an air of gentle confidence…this is my wish.

An impossible standard some would say but I know I’ll meet him someday.

A taste of Heaven

On a flight back to Yard I fulfilled my promise to God to pen my praise for his mercy shown me last week.

With 3 days notice I packed for a trip I wasn’t yet booked on a flight for….In confidence..ish, I had 70% positive thoughts about meeting the requirements for a Government Officer to travel in these aneamic economic times. Another day went by before the approval came and the flight to take me there on the day before the meeting was fully booked….With 2 days to go I found myself tying off loose ends and gathering paper to take along, still confident..ish that I’d find a flight…I did, twas the next day.

To get approval for travel, cause country representation I thought was crucial to regional development, I had opted to assume the cost of Hotel stay for the night before the meeting since per diem etc would not be disbursed by the organizing entity until the first day of the meeting….I figured I could cover that night plus ground transport from the airport and was gonna “thug/yardie out” the meal part…The life of a Civil servant nuh easy…..Anyhow, with this twist to the plan I’d have to find two nights plus at least a meal out of pocket or convince the Ministry to support the one extra night.

In the hustle and bustle of doing the necessaries to fly I left the booking of accommodation in capable assistant’s hands…..to my astonishment, Ministry support was over calculated and they gave me strict instructions to go with and reimburse on return…tentatively I took it all with me. …God is good.

Rushing through the streets of Kingston with an hour to board I didn’t didn’t blink an eye as I bobbed and wove my way through ;lunch time pick-up traffic…twas an opportunity to drop the V6 into 4 and boogie at speeds of upwards 100kmh….Mi get fi blow out di engine… sweet:0)

The flight was good, peaceful mostly and I got good vibes from a fresh and clean youngster but was too preoccupied catching up on my reading to show real interest….half opportunity lost:0)

On arrival at the Hotel I read my print out which stated that “ All monies must be paid in full upfront” or something to that effect….my able assistant had wanted to spare me the hassle of booking in twice and had gone a head an booked me for the 4 nights…..bless her heart. Thankfully I was over provided for by the people of my country so I could easily cover the cost…..God is good all the time…..

In my room showered and settled munching on the Cheetos and Heineken I grabbed at the supermarket on my way in, I thought back and remembered that on Saturday morning I had woken up with Psalm 23 on my mind and in my heart and I had repeated the same incessantly over the ensuing 3 days…it never occurred to me that there was a connection and to be honest I’d been more focused on the “..He restoreth my soul”…part, thinking God wanted me to repent of my daily sins……I was wrong. I thanked God for going before me and seeing beyond my mortal sight and effecting the “ The Lord is my Shepard I shall not want…” part of the Psalm.

I gave thanks with a Cheerful heart on a plane back to for the Lord had opened my mind and eyes to see his mighty works performed for me….God is a Good God and I’m happy he rests in me and I’m committed, despite all my faults, to dwelling in His house forever.