Its been a while since I’ve placed a man's hand in my lap and aimlessly traced the outline of his fingers and palm…lovingly, tantalizingly. Its been awhile since I’ve taken his cheeks between my hands and looked deeply…almost lovingly into his lust glazed eyes. Its been a while since I’ve hovered my lips within tasting distance of his lips and felt the heat of his ragged breath or just….wait for a kiss. Its been a while since I’ve felt that quickening of my heart upon sight of his big bare chest, or the tingling in my groin as he delivers a firm first kiss….Today, with rain threatening outside, sleep willing me to return to bed and a fire in the pit of my stomach that I cannot extinguish, I am again, down on my knees.
My prayer however is not to stay my two feet that I don’t run off to a willing soul, but that I could help myself to minimal relief….masturbation was a dear friend to me, and now I cannot muster forgiveness of me if I partake…cause its reeeally been a while.
I miss pinning him to a wall spreading his thighs with mine and grinding my hips into his growing excitement…I miss feeling his firm hands grasp my waist, holding me in place…I miss a man responding to my antics. I miss watching the look on his face as I guide his hands under my panties to my wet, hard clit…begging him to…squeeze. I miss my mini faucet-like response. It has been a looong time….since I’ve felt his rushed hands strip me naked, fumble to put on a condom and spread my thighs to deliver 8 hard inches of hot, thick pulsing flesh….its been such a long time since a man has nibbled at my nipples, rubbed his dick between my breasts, kissed my lips with the remnant juices from my ……
Its been a while.
Its been a while since a man has demonstrated his power over me…its been a while since I’ve been made to submit, to moan oh shit when his dick touches the womb unexpectedly… to look forward to more and more….its been a while since I’ve had to place a hand between our bodies to ease the force of his thrusting…its been a while since I ‘ve benefited from the further force that action elicits (really, really miss this)…its been a while since I felt that growing crescendo which prompts lude, cum provoking nothings to escape my mouth…God its been a while since I’ve really been fucked.
I’ve heard it said that no sin is greater than another, but deep down I don’t believe, cause murder, adultery, fornication and white lies, cannot be weighed similarly…..the habit of lying one can dispense with in a heartbeat, fornication and adultery knock constantly on your door however, and takes a lot more than heartbeats to dispel…and murder, to me, is the mother of all sins, for it is hard for me to believe that the Father and the Son would treat lightly with this sin which destroys a being for whom their love flows eternally….all sins cannot tip the scale therefore with the same recompense…….as you can see, the Lord has a lot more work to do in me…but I shall overcome....eventually.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Who I am - Jamaican
The Blood which flows through my veins is that of a fighter….the blueprint of what’s at the heart of a people…and though I’ve not blazed a trail of meaningful accomplishments to trail behind my name, the mettle that resides in Bolt, Powell, Walker and Frazer, also lies latent in me and indeed all Jamaicans.
Through my veins flows, rich thick history and pride, and it matters not where or how you began in this life but that you worked against the odds to claw your way out of the mire of poverty to achieve greatness.….The blood that flowed through Marley, Marcus, Nanny, Edith Allwood-Anderson also flows through me and veins are pulsing with fight…fight for what is right, fight for survival, fight, fight , fight rushes uncontrollably to my brain, through my limbs, into my heart and I am filled with hope, that though our present seems darker than ever before, my spirit has hope that were will make a bright future….. because despite externalities, we have the fight and God nah guh mek him people suffa fi much longa.
Yes, the same blood that keeps alive dreams in every ghetto youth, every barely making it single parent, every scholar, agitator, creative soul…it flows through me and I will rise and shine and greet the day with confidence that Jah neva fail and my country will soon be lifted from the ashes into the stratosphere of prosperity and be the number one place to live and raise families.
BLESS UP JAMAICA
Through my veins flows, rich thick history and pride, and it matters not where or how you began in this life but that you worked against the odds to claw your way out of the mire of poverty to achieve greatness.….The blood that flowed through Marley, Marcus, Nanny, Edith Allwood-Anderson also flows through me and veins are pulsing with fight…fight for what is right, fight for survival, fight, fight , fight rushes uncontrollably to my brain, through my limbs, into my heart and I am filled with hope, that though our present seems darker than ever before, my spirit has hope that were will make a bright future….. because despite externalities, we have the fight and God nah guh mek him people suffa fi much longa.
Yes, the same blood that keeps alive dreams in every ghetto youth, every barely making it single parent, every scholar, agitator, creative soul…it flows through me and I will rise and shine and greet the day with confidence that Jah neva fail and my country will soon be lifted from the ashes into the stratosphere of prosperity and be the number one place to live and raise families.
BLESS UP JAMAICA
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Leaning on the Rock of Ages
Pedestrian designed concrete tiles paved the way over a bridge which connected the two sides of the expansive pool, and a coconut tree saluted path to a white sand beach. Aaah…..A narrow track, with lush green grass (don’t ask me how in this drought) on either side, signaled your separation, finally, from the hustle and bustle of the general vacationing population.
Though early in the morning, I was not alone :( I found my spot, saw a lizard scamper into the coconut tree nearby, and changed my location, no need to tempt fate. I settled in to send up praises to the Most High, surrounded by the natural beauty of his creation. I’ve always loved the early morning time, you get to hear and actually feel nature....its good.
As I thanked and blessed, praying too for wisdom and understanding of the bits and bytes of a new subject area I’ve been running from trying to ‘get’ in totality, the comforting breeze whistled around my head, and I appreciated my Father's response with my eyes closed, mind fixed on Him and body and soul at peace. Oh how sweet it was to be in the presence of his Glory.
The skyline was breath-taking… a hint of ash blue sky caressed the waters edge…. straggling clouds were stretching lazily to join together and find real form...twas enough to soften the hardest of hearts, and I was thankful that the Lord had touched the powers that be to start the Retreat session a little later that day.. .. a carefully negotiated victory having ended the previous day’s session at 2:00 a.m.
I didn’t care too much about how I got the time, I was just elated that I did, cause I had at my disposal a clear two hours before resumption and could wade in the water, read a couple verses and tiptoe back to my room before the breakfast crowd really got into swing and colleagues could catch sight of my sarong and bikini clad sexiness:)
On my back in the deep blue, I floated and prayed for the Lord’s mercy and grace and continued protection from the devil's Mignon's which seemed to accost me from all sides….during the work session, thoughts of a certain Player under my thighs and bound by my web of pleasure occupied my mind intermittently. The fact that he had his hands full with the other females in the room (twas like watching a kid in a candy store, unable to choose which sweet to try to take), was a blessing in disguise cause I couldn’t really manage another 7 years of bad luck from coveting again a gold banded being….Then, no sooner had I reined myself in and under control, my trips to the restroom and at times just to get a breather from the heated tempers which flared over issues thought more important in the national interest…I was met with beautifully buffed, ripped dream bodies…6 ft and up, mellow sexy languages pouring fluently from their mouths, inspiring thoughts of whether their moans and groans were also done in a foreign language….the scene was too intoxicating for a recovering addict such as my self. I was on the brink several times, even at Lunch and Dinner when the beautiful beings were clad in wife beaters and flip flops, or cool cotton shirts….I was downright at risk.
Noting my loosening grip on self, I turned to the one weapon proven to work in these circumstances, the Bible. I read passage after passage and begged for forgiveness and strength to keep me through the duration of the Retreat without my fate or chastity belt falling. It Worked:0)
Though early in the morning, I was not alone :( I found my spot, saw a lizard scamper into the coconut tree nearby, and changed my location, no need to tempt fate. I settled in to send up praises to the Most High, surrounded by the natural beauty of his creation. I’ve always loved the early morning time, you get to hear and actually feel nature....its good.
As I thanked and blessed, praying too for wisdom and understanding of the bits and bytes of a new subject area I’ve been running from trying to ‘get’ in totality, the comforting breeze whistled around my head, and I appreciated my Father's response with my eyes closed, mind fixed on Him and body and soul at peace. Oh how sweet it was to be in the presence of his Glory.
The skyline was breath-taking… a hint of ash blue sky caressed the waters edge…. straggling clouds were stretching lazily to join together and find real form...twas enough to soften the hardest of hearts, and I was thankful that the Lord had touched the powers that be to start the Retreat session a little later that day.. .. a carefully negotiated victory having ended the previous day’s session at 2:00 a.m.
I didn’t care too much about how I got the time, I was just elated that I did, cause I had at my disposal a clear two hours before resumption and could wade in the water, read a couple verses and tiptoe back to my room before the breakfast crowd really got into swing and colleagues could catch sight of my sarong and bikini clad sexiness:)
On my back in the deep blue, I floated and prayed for the Lord’s mercy and grace and continued protection from the devil's Mignon's which seemed to accost me from all sides….during the work session, thoughts of a certain Player under my thighs and bound by my web of pleasure occupied my mind intermittently. The fact that he had his hands full with the other females in the room (twas like watching a kid in a candy store, unable to choose which sweet to try to take), was a blessing in disguise cause I couldn’t really manage another 7 years of bad luck from coveting again a gold banded being….Then, no sooner had I reined myself in and under control, my trips to the restroom and at times just to get a breather from the heated tempers which flared over issues thought more important in the national interest…I was met with beautifully buffed, ripped dream bodies…6 ft and up, mellow sexy languages pouring fluently from their mouths, inspiring thoughts of whether their moans and groans were also done in a foreign language….the scene was too intoxicating for a recovering addict such as my self. I was on the brink several times, even at Lunch and Dinner when the beautiful beings were clad in wife beaters and flip flops, or cool cotton shirts….I was downright at risk.
Noting my loosening grip on self, I turned to the one weapon proven to work in these circumstances, the Bible. I read passage after passage and begged for forgiveness and strength to keep me through the duration of the Retreat without my fate or chastity belt falling. It Worked:0)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Appreciation
Though I love the contrast of dark chocolate skin against my cocoa brown, there's something about some Brownings that really get me hot.
The built dark skinned male represents that primitive interpretation of a man. Him standing 6ft 2", naked, his rigid big dick in his hand, the works of art his curving biceps are, bald headed, lips invitingly thick, pink tongue, a goat-T beard...raw sexual magnetism.....damn he's sweet. Combine all that with confidence in self and his abilities and he's quite a treat.
Every so often though, my eyes and the erectile tissue of my nipples are stimulated by the sight of a honey gold Browning.....every so often I take a moment to admire his....perks. Cherry lips, smooth quiet confidence and sometimes light brown eyes is enough to make me wonder the inches that lies beneath, the hug of his jeans. Let's also not forget the fact that with the right words, you can make his cheeks crimson red...how powerful a feeling that is, the ability to also place a hicky brand on his chest.....its nice sometimes to mark your territory....is just s cherry topping too.
In my experience I've found Brownings to be very sweet inside.... though capable of great anger as well....the single most endearing quality though, is the inability to respond quietly to my probing, teasing tongue. Yeah, a Browning will make you put on some ole school soul music and bump and grind the night away...then in the morning you get to see the remnant of your session on his chest, his shoulders, his back.....
With the rain pouring outside today, my fight for control last week as I observed toned, muscular, tanned shirtless bodies, lie on the beach and poolside at the granbahiaprincipejamaica.com Hotel trunks hanging low on the taunt waists, torsos begging and screaming for you to taste, dark brown or pink nipples, picturing your tongue teasing the outline of his tattoos, nipping and tugging at the spot where his moans seem to get louder(and that's everywhere).....aaaahh the brown sugar male body in motion is truly tantalizing.....a girl almost couldn't keep her righteous Order.
The built dark skinned male represents that primitive interpretation of a man. Him standing 6ft 2", naked, his rigid big dick in his hand, the works of art his curving biceps are, bald headed, lips invitingly thick, pink tongue, a goat-T beard...raw sexual magnetism.....damn he's sweet. Combine all that with confidence in self and his abilities and he's quite a treat.
Every so often though, my eyes and the erectile tissue of my nipples are stimulated by the sight of a honey gold Browning.....every so often I take a moment to admire his....perks. Cherry lips, smooth quiet confidence and sometimes light brown eyes is enough to make me wonder the inches that lies beneath, the hug of his jeans. Let's also not forget the fact that with the right words, you can make his cheeks crimson red...how powerful a feeling that is, the ability to also place a hicky brand on his chest.....its nice sometimes to mark your territory....is just s cherry topping too.
In my experience I've found Brownings to be very sweet inside.... though capable of great anger as well....the single most endearing quality though, is the inability to respond quietly to my probing, teasing tongue. Yeah, a Browning will make you put on some ole school soul music and bump and grind the night away...then in the morning you get to see the remnant of your session on his chest, his shoulders, his back.....
With the rain pouring outside today, my fight for control last week as I observed toned, muscular, tanned shirtless bodies, lie on the beach and poolside at the granbahiaprincipejamaica.com Hotel trunks hanging low on the taunt waists, torsos begging and screaming for you to taste, dark brown or pink nipples, picturing your tongue teasing the outline of his tattoos, nipping and tugging at the spot where his moans seem to get louder(and that's everywhere).....aaaahh the brown sugar male body in motion is truly tantalizing.....a girl almost couldn't keep her righteous Order.
Monday, August 10, 2009
God is standing by.so hush and be comforted
Today, the purity of love flows through my veins, mind and soul. I would draw the world close to my lips and plant on everyone a kiss, if I could.
A beautiful dream unfolded last weekend in my mind.....I was wrapped in safe arms on a blanket...wrapped in love, warmth and protection, and I had no reason to fight anymore....kisses rained down on my forehead, punctuated by soothing whispers of I love you's...a channel filled with deep sentiment formed in my heart, a long time lovers' net of comfort which restored my spirit and made me give in to trust in him, knowing that his feeling toward me will never change.
Sometimes we get jaded by baggage from breaks-up and makeups or playing and winning the game, and we forget that man and woman were not meant to be adversaries but a unit...one being, which when joined, populates a world with love.....Lets stop playing for a day. Let today be the day you show love....let her know she's a treasure and that will lift her spirit, and she... my dear friends, will make yours soar.
A beautiful dream unfolded last weekend in my mind.....I was wrapped in safe arms on a blanket...wrapped in love, warmth and protection, and I had no reason to fight anymore....kisses rained down on my forehead, punctuated by soothing whispers of I love you's...a channel filled with deep sentiment formed in my heart, a long time lovers' net of comfort which restored my spirit and made me give in to trust in him, knowing that his feeling toward me will never change.
Sometimes we get jaded by baggage from breaks-up and makeups or playing and winning the game, and we forget that man and woman were not meant to be adversaries but a unit...one being, which when joined, populates a world with love.....Lets stop playing for a day. Let today be the day you show love....let her know she's a treasure and that will lift her spirit, and she... my dear friends, will make yours soar.
Monday, August 3, 2009
In the presence of God
I sat and waited on Saturday......waiting for my God to reach down father than my hands could reach up...and I was at peace.
Under the ackee tree, I gave thanks to a mighty father who knows me more than I know myself....I thanked him for sticking around despite my failings. I was surrounded as I whispered my prayer, enveloped, wrapped in his arms by the cool breeze which filtered through every pore of my skin, and I felt blessed.
I sat immobile, and felt the long week of battles fought...some won, some lost, tiptoe up my spine and into my shoulders, rushing to be released into the wind. The stress of everday life, my interaction with Boogie which stirred up sentiments and thoughts of whether we had done the right thing, all conspired to test my faith, and I knew the battle could not be fought by me, so I called upon the keeper of my faith and I was at rest.
I gave thanks, thanks that I was one of the chosen to live for yet another day. Thanks that despite my circumstances my trust in my Lord and Saviour continued to grow..albeit haphazardly. Confident I was though, somewhat, that soon there would be a seamless transformation of me. I gave thanks that God was not like man, for I would have perished long ago if he had the hard heart of my brothers and sisters.... if he counted my mishaps against me. I gave thanks that it was another weekend for recovery and replenishing of spirit.
As the sunlight pierced through my eyelids beaming down a promise of blessing, I felt my shoulders sag into relaxation...aaahhh. I was as light a cloud, remembering the beauty of the Budgie which stopped by on a limb:0) and as I listened keenly to natures silence, I was interrupted by a toiuch on my thigh..... reality kicked in and I decided to send up praises from the safety of the great indoors rather than to fall prey to the reptiles which plague the canopy above.
Under the ackee tree, I gave thanks to a mighty father who knows me more than I know myself....I thanked him for sticking around despite my failings. I was surrounded as I whispered my prayer, enveloped, wrapped in his arms by the cool breeze which filtered through every pore of my skin, and I felt blessed.
I sat immobile, and felt the long week of battles fought...some won, some lost, tiptoe up my spine and into my shoulders, rushing to be released into the wind. The stress of everday life, my interaction with Boogie which stirred up sentiments and thoughts of whether we had done the right thing, all conspired to test my faith, and I knew the battle could not be fought by me, so I called upon the keeper of my faith and I was at rest.
I gave thanks, thanks that I was one of the chosen to live for yet another day. Thanks that despite my circumstances my trust in my Lord and Saviour continued to grow..albeit haphazardly. Confident I was though, somewhat, that soon there would be a seamless transformation of me. I gave thanks that God was not like man, for I would have perished long ago if he had the hard heart of my brothers and sisters.... if he counted my mishaps against me. I gave thanks that it was another weekend for recovery and replenishing of spirit.
As the sunlight pierced through my eyelids beaming down a promise of blessing, I felt my shoulders sag into relaxation...aaahhh. I was as light a cloud, remembering the beauty of the Budgie which stopped by on a limb:0) and as I listened keenly to natures silence, I was interrupted by a toiuch on my thigh..... reality kicked in and I decided to send up praises from the safety of the great indoors rather than to fall prey to the reptiles which plague the canopy above.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
