Lust

Its been a while since I’ve placed a man's hand in my lap and aimlessly traced the outline of his fingers and palm…lovingly, tantalizingly. Its been awhile since I’ve taken his cheeks between my hands and looked deeply…almost lovingly into his lust glazed eyes. Its been a while since I’ve hovered my lips within tasting distance of his lips and felt the heat of his ragged breath or just….wait for a kiss. Its been a while since I’ve felt that quickening of my heart upon sight of his big bare chest, or the tingling in my groin as he delivers a firm first kiss….Today, with rain threatening outside, sleep willing me to return to bed and a fire in the pit of my stomach that I cannot extinguish, I am again, down on my knees.

My prayer however is not to stay my two feet that I don’t run off to a willing soul, but that I could help myself to minimal relief….masturbation was a dear friend to me, and now I cannot muster forgiveness of me if I partake…cause its reeeally been a while.

I miss pinning him to a wall spreading his thighs with mine and grinding my hips into his growing excitement…I miss feeling his firm hands grasp my waist, holding me in place…I miss a man responding to my antics. I miss watching the look on his face as I guide his hands under my panties to my wet, hard clit…begging him to…squeeze. I miss my mini faucet-like response. It has been a looong time….since I’ve felt his rushed hands strip me naked, fumble to put on a condom and spread my thighs to deliver 8 hard inches of hot, thick pulsing flesh….its been such a long time since a man has nibbled at my nipples, rubbed his dick between my breasts, kissed my lips with the remnant juices from my ……

Its been a while.

Its been a while since a man has demonstrated his power over me…its been a while since I’ve been made to submit, to moan oh shit when his dick touches the womb unexpectedly… to look forward to more and more….its been a while since I’ve had to place a hand between our bodies to ease the force of his thrusting…its been a while since I ‘ve benefited from the further force that action elicits (really, really miss this)…its been a while since I felt that growing crescendo which prompts lude, cum provoking nothings to escape my mouth…God its been a while since I’ve really been fucked.

I’ve heard it said that no sin is greater than another, but deep down I don’t believe, cause murder, adultery, fornication and white lies, cannot be weighed similarly…..the habit of lying one can dispense with in a heartbeat, fornication and adultery knock constantly on your door however, and takes a lot more than heartbeats to dispel…and murder, to me, is the mother of all sins, for it is hard for me to believe that the Father and the Son would treat lightly with this sin which destroys a being for whom their love flows eternally….all sins cannot tip the scale therefore with the same recompense…….as you can see, the Lord has a lot more work to do in me…but I shall overcome....eventually.