Mr. ATL called last night with detailed plans of our imminent togetherness. It was hard telling him to think carefully because the situation had been complicated by my Brother's indication of joining me at the end of next month just to cool out for 4 days. Needless to say it would overlap with my Mr. ATL exploration time. I have to admit, because of my last game, I am tickled by the notion of me and him and my brother hanging out...he couldn't touch me, nor could I touch him in the presence of my big brother....he doesn't need to know that his sister is a over-sexed bitch. Could I withstand the pressure of seeing the apple and not yielding to temptation....things to think on.
Unlike me, Mr. ATL was adamant that he wouldn't want to mess with me if my brother were around.....it would be weird he thinks. I told him that I was an adult (yeah right) and saw no reason for us to not be able to play this game successfully....he would not be moved so I dropped it....not before indicating that clearly my interest was deeper than his and I would work on expelling him from my thoughts :) he bought the act and was very apologetic....he's gonna book the flight. I should call and tell him not to bother but its so nice to revel in the moment.
So, I have been quasi-saved by the proverbial bell and even got to play with a man who doesn't play games.....he is intriguing. I know the danger of 'intrigue' but I am much wiser these days. He makes my ----y jump and until he stops doing that, I will play.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Making Plans
Consistent Blogging....not necessarily a good thing, but what to do.....
Last night it rained.....it played patta cake on my roof and windows and a spark was lit in my head. I called Mr. ATL and we had interrupted but good fun....he slips into my scenarios very easily....he can build out my imaginings in a very pleasing manner......something tells me we are too much alike, the sex may not be all that then....too much pressure.
Thankfully, I don't want to have penetration sex with him....all I want to do is to be able to frig with him once in a while from a distance and I will be satisfied with that.....not sure if he would be similarly satisfied but frig it. He woke me up this morning and outlined tentative plans to visit late next month....I'm gonna hope it doesn't work out cause I'm not sure I will be able to keep him at arms length when he can reach out and touch me......he has made it clear that in the planned week he will need 2 days for work...that's all.....the rest of the days, he has indicated, would be spent with me, unencumbered by work or any other Distraction.
I'm not doing anything right now, and it is an interesting proposal.....I can just imagine surrendering my body to him and watching him work it......:) Can I deal with the after though.....from either perspective.....Frig it though, men can be tricky, but so can women.
The above is one thought that came to me.....another is......I could hook up bredren/friend in the 2 days of Mr. ATL's work, go down to the country and really vacation. If I am gonna be bad, better I get all of it out of my system in this period.....may even mess with the Player a bit in the time too.....after that, I can just easy. It sounds like a plan.....I will wait to hear from Mr. ATL then I can decide.
Life is a trip.
Last night it rained.....it played patta cake on my roof and windows and a spark was lit in my head. I called Mr. ATL and we had interrupted but good fun....he slips into my scenarios very easily....he can build out my imaginings in a very pleasing manner......something tells me we are too much alike, the sex may not be all that then....too much pressure.
Thankfully, I don't want to have penetration sex with him....all I want to do is to be able to frig with him once in a while from a distance and I will be satisfied with that.....not sure if he would be similarly satisfied but frig it. He woke me up this morning and outlined tentative plans to visit late next month....I'm gonna hope it doesn't work out cause I'm not sure I will be able to keep him at arms length when he can reach out and touch me......he has made it clear that in the planned week he will need 2 days for work...that's all.....the rest of the days, he has indicated, would be spent with me, unencumbered by work or any other Distraction.
I'm not doing anything right now, and it is an interesting proposal.....I can just imagine surrendering my body to him and watching him work it......:) Can I deal with the after though.....from either perspective.....Frig it though, men can be tricky, but so can women.
The above is one thought that came to me.....another is......I could hook up bredren/friend in the 2 days of Mr. ATL's work, go down to the country and really vacation. If I am gonna be bad, better I get all of it out of my system in this period.....may even mess with the Player a bit in the time too.....after that, I can just easy. It sounds like a plan.....I will wait to hear from Mr. ATL then I can decide.
Life is a trip.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Hmm Hmm Good
The wonders in this life are ceaseless, all we have to do is take a step back and watch the beauty unfold.
I think I need to organize an all night session.....I am getting too idle in thought. I did something yesterday, I watched the stationery delivery guy...he couldn't have been more than 26, but he was cute, well spoken and thicker than a mothaeffer. He threw me for a loop initially, I looked up one moment and he was decked in his well pressed shirt and slacks, the next minute though, he was pleasingly draped in a black tank exposing all his glory. I noted the switch but kept on working until he came to ask another question....that's when he struck me....built like heck....a lot too short (5' 9" or so) but he was something to look at as he squatted and lifted and packed and stacked.....mmmmmmmmmmm. When he was through he came for the sign off document, we checked the stock together...I flirted a bit, he was pleasant.......as he ran through the door when we were finished, I remembered the box in my office and asked him to take it, as he had promised earlier, to the back for me. I stood back, folded my arms, and watched as he stooped and effortlessly lifted the big box...I could only think of the better use those muscles could be put to, like lifting me and pressing me against the wall........He knew I was watching and this made it all the better...sweet. It was harmless. I feel a little guilty about my paedophilic action but he was nice to look at. He was my muse last night as I released.
Life, as I said is filled with wonderful things......I need to engage in another form of exercise....and I will.
I think I need to organize an all night session.....I am getting too idle in thought. I did something yesterday, I watched the stationery delivery guy...he couldn't have been more than 26, but he was cute, well spoken and thicker than a mothaeffer. He threw me for a loop initially, I looked up one moment and he was decked in his well pressed shirt and slacks, the next minute though, he was pleasingly draped in a black tank exposing all his glory. I noted the switch but kept on working until he came to ask another question....that's when he struck me....built like heck....a lot too short (5' 9" or so) but he was something to look at as he squatted and lifted and packed and stacked.....mmmmmmmmmmm. When he was through he came for the sign off document, we checked the stock together...I flirted a bit, he was pleasant.......as he ran through the door when we were finished, I remembered the box in my office and asked him to take it, as he had promised earlier, to the back for me. I stood back, folded my arms, and watched as he stooped and effortlessly lifted the big box...I could only think of the better use those muscles could be put to, like lifting me and pressing me against the wall........He knew I was watching and this made it all the better...sweet. It was harmless. I feel a little guilty about my paedophilic action but he was nice to look at. He was my muse last night as I released.
Life, as I said is filled with wonderful things......I need to engage in another form of exercise....and I will.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Confession
I want a particular man. I want to be wrapped in his strong arms and have him recite the familiar description of the wonders of my lips and tongue...mmmmm.......I want to be pinned down by his body and watch as his eyes flutter close with every movement of my hips, every contraction and release.....I want to watch this man cum.
There is no denying my attraction to Mr. ATL...I care not about the reasons behind it, all I want to do is watch this man's body in action.....(SIGH)
I think this may have been my weekend for longing cause fleetingly desire for the Player also rose up in me. I toyed with the idea of sending an e-mail requesting that time be made for fucking......its been a while since I've been on top of a desk, so I had hoped that he could meet me at work either his or mine. I didn't act on the vibe, I 've done enough of that. I guess my games with him at the Retreat and the missed opportunity for full body enjoyment caught up with me at a time when I needed a good cum to ease the pain in me. No worries though, the stupidity alarm need not be sounded, I know that part of my life is over....certainly where it involves fucking together.
Thankfully for me Mr. ATL must have smelled the rat.....he called and we had great dialogue.....he has indicated that he doesn't want me to "give it away" to anyone but Boogie and him ( he's funny as heck). Such ownership, and he hasn't even benefited from the fullness.....pity I'm trying to trod a righteous trod right now...I could grow to like him.
There is no denying my attraction to Mr. ATL...I care not about the reasons behind it, all I want to do is watch this man's body in action.....(SIGH)
I think this may have been my weekend for longing cause fleetingly desire for the Player also rose up in me. I toyed with the idea of sending an e-mail requesting that time be made for fucking......its been a while since I've been on top of a desk, so I had hoped that he could meet me at work either his or mine. I didn't act on the vibe, I 've done enough of that. I guess my games with him at the Retreat and the missed opportunity for full body enjoyment caught up with me at a time when I needed a good cum to ease the pain in me. No worries though, the stupidity alarm need not be sounded, I know that part of my life is over....certainly where it involves fucking together.
Thankfully for me Mr. ATL must have smelled the rat.....he called and we had great dialogue.....he has indicated that he doesn't want me to "give it away" to anyone but Boogie and him ( he's funny as heck). Such ownership, and he hasn't even benefited from the fullness.....pity I'm trying to trod a righteous trod right now...I could grow to like him.
Thoughts
There are two great gifts a parent can give to her child.....
1) A fear and love for God; and
2)Confidence
Were both to be imparted to us in youth, then the now would not be spent trying to locate and hone skills.....instead one would conquer mountains and overcome all obstacles.......one would shout down every whisper of challenge and be like the rock on which greatness is built.
In the recognition, however, of absence of the two from your repertoire, you adopt an incrementalist approach to greatness, you save self bit by bit and one of these days you know you will embody all truth and until then, you will not rest.
1) A fear and love for God; and
2)Confidence
Were both to be imparted to us in youth, then the now would not be spent trying to locate and hone skills.....instead one would conquer mountains and overcome all obstacles.......one would shout down every whisper of challenge and be like the rock on which greatness is built.
In the recognition, however, of absence of the two from your repertoire, you adopt an incrementalist approach to greatness, you save self bit by bit and one of these days you know you will embody all truth and until then, you will not rest.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Understanding leads to Obedience
Time alone will tell......the Lord has been on my side of late and I think I understand what he requires of me now...he is special too...quite a sense of humor...why do I say that you may ask...let me tell you a story.
It all started when I found out I had a Retreat to go to....I was swamped with work during the week so I didn't have enough time to think about the fact that the Player would be there too and that I would wish not to make an ass of myself again. I planned my trip therefore with built in escape mechanisms which would ensure that I was occupied in the nights...one way or another.
Mr. ATL had been on my mind in the week however, I was busy as heck so I would forget to call him each time I found myself with time on my hands....me being me and my Karma being my Karma, he called the night before I left for the country. We had a good session which ended with us making a date to meet under the stars on Saturday night....him in Ohio, me in Ochi...it was a grand idea. I didn't know though, that my boss had intended that the weekend would be devoted to work and work only...I mean I barely had time to try out the beach and the gym. On date day therefore I worked until 11:30 p.m. and by the time I got to my room and called, he didn't take my call....I waited an hour and tried again and he still didn't answer...suh yuh know seh him get F--K now, right. Anyway, I got a quick workout, prayed away my demons and called it a night at about 2:30 a.m. as the stormy weather visited.
When I got back to Kingston, I called again and did not get through. I couldn't send out even a local call.....I raised hell with Digicel and was happy I hadn't discarded my C&W phone......it bouyed me through the weekend. It wasn't until Sunday morning that I realised that the Lord was seeking to yet again save me from myself. He doesn't want me involved with another married man and I am gonna try to do as he says this time. Had I heeded the warnings with the Player I would not have lost that game. Sometimes we just need to be good for goodness sake so I will yield to the master and watch things unfold. Afterall, it is close to Christmas and I am hoping he will provide for me a tall, handsome, well built, moderately hung and thick, nice, witty, unwed gentleman package as a reward for my effort now.
Cheers
It all started when I found out I had a Retreat to go to....I was swamped with work during the week so I didn't have enough time to think about the fact that the Player would be there too and that I would wish not to make an ass of myself again. I planned my trip therefore with built in escape mechanisms which would ensure that I was occupied in the nights...one way or another.
Mr. ATL had been on my mind in the week however, I was busy as heck so I would forget to call him each time I found myself with time on my hands....me being me and my Karma being my Karma, he called the night before I left for the country. We had a good session which ended with us making a date to meet under the stars on Saturday night....him in Ohio, me in Ochi...it was a grand idea. I didn't know though, that my boss had intended that the weekend would be devoted to work and work only...I mean I barely had time to try out the beach and the gym. On date day therefore I worked until 11:30 p.m. and by the time I got to my room and called, he didn't take my call....I waited an hour and tried again and he still didn't answer...suh yuh know seh him get F--K now, right. Anyway, I got a quick workout, prayed away my demons and called it a night at about 2:30 a.m. as the stormy weather visited.
When I got back to Kingston, I called again and did not get through. I couldn't send out even a local call.....I raised hell with Digicel and was happy I hadn't discarded my C&W phone......it bouyed me through the weekend. It wasn't until Sunday morning that I realised that the Lord was seeking to yet again save me from myself. He doesn't want me involved with another married man and I am gonna try to do as he says this time. Had I heeded the warnings with the Player I would not have lost that game. Sometimes we just need to be good for goodness sake so I will yield to the master and watch things unfold. Afterall, it is close to Christmas and I am hoping he will provide for me a tall, handsome, well built, moderately hung and thick, nice, witty, unwed gentleman package as a reward for my effort now.
Cheers
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Misunderstanding
Men are special ....so special, so special, so special ( to borrow from Movado)....
So I had a weekend Retreat...nuff, nuff work, and I knew I was due to be sick, so I prayed about it and struck a deal with God that I would be a good girl on the weekend if he grants me this one wish....He lived up to his end of the bargain, with a little pain here and there, and I lived up to mine with few lapses in resolve...nothing too harmful. I was prepared then for a Tuesday of not so good feeling....it did not disappoint. By Wednesday morning, having spent the night in pain, I broke down and called Boogie.
He came......he got my medication from the Pharmacy, he got my hot water bottle, he stroked my hair and tummy until I fell asleep, and made me soup. It felt good being taken care of for a change. He was always good to me in these times, and I absolutely love him for it. Needless to say, he didn't go to work. He spent the day being my nurse and it felt good feeling him snuggle in behind me as we slept.
Imagine my surprise when in a period of better feeling, I took a work call, while he was on a work call I might add, only to find that this pissed him off.....not a little, but a lot.....he stormed out...what the f--k. What did I do?...he was on a call....I don't get it.....his next contact was at 11:00 p.m. to ask if I was feeling okay...I was doubled up in pain but I put on my most chirpiest of tones and said "yep".
I am fast understanding that there is no win win for me with him, I was calm and cool when he said he had to leave at six to go to an engagement, I could have been a bitch but I understood that it would have been inappropriate in the circumstances cause, after all, we are just friends. Mi nuh understand nuff things these days, so I will let it all go.....
Still sick, not even sure if this post makes sense but damn, men need to come with a handbook that can help us deal better with each other.
So I had a weekend Retreat...nuff, nuff work, and I knew I was due to be sick, so I prayed about it and struck a deal with God that I would be a good girl on the weekend if he grants me this one wish....He lived up to his end of the bargain, with a little pain here and there, and I lived up to mine with few lapses in resolve...nothing too harmful. I was prepared then for a Tuesday of not so good feeling....it did not disappoint. By Wednesday morning, having spent the night in pain, I broke down and called Boogie.
He came......he got my medication from the Pharmacy, he got my hot water bottle, he stroked my hair and tummy until I fell asleep, and made me soup. It felt good being taken care of for a change. He was always good to me in these times, and I absolutely love him for it. Needless to say, he didn't go to work. He spent the day being my nurse and it felt good feeling him snuggle in behind me as we slept.
Imagine my surprise when in a period of better feeling, I took a work call, while he was on a work call I might add, only to find that this pissed him off.....not a little, but a lot.....he stormed out...what the f--k. What did I do?...he was on a call....I don't get it.....his next contact was at 11:00 p.m. to ask if I was feeling okay...I was doubled up in pain but I put on my most chirpiest of tones and said "yep".
I am fast understanding that there is no win win for me with him, I was calm and cool when he said he had to leave at six to go to an engagement, I could have been a bitch but I understood that it would have been inappropriate in the circumstances cause, after all, we are just friends. Mi nuh understand nuff things these days, so I will let it all go.....
Still sick, not even sure if this post makes sense but damn, men need to come with a handbook that can help us deal better with each other.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Schooling
I had a reasoning session with my biggest brother last night, it was a learning experience. He has always been, what I would call, the ultimate player. he doesn't engage in emotion, he is like a spirit, he breezes in rocks your world (I hope him a represent) and then like a twig in the wind he disappears....there are no ties, he doesn't eat from any of his girls, he goes home even if its 5:00 a.m., he doesn't maintain her in any way shape or form....he is a PLAYER.
Against this background imagine my surprise when he turned up at my gate with relationship woes. I knew he was with some lady or another, I didn't know that they were serious......turns out he has been living with her for the past 2 years...WOW. It was hard to wrap my mind around the concept and after laughing up a storm I gathered myself and was the ear he needed at the time. Di man mash up.
We drank a bit, beer for me, unchased Appleton for him (it really does taste better without the chaser.....in fact I will drink the chaser after a shot or two). He wasn't weepy...he couldn't live that down, cause bad man nuh cry and I would certainly remind him about it in better times....just for the laugh. I listened as he cursed her on the one hand for searching his phone and going out of her way to hurt herself, and on the other, thinking aloud about the bills he needed to help her with since the end of the month was here.....WOW. I had to ask if he was sure he wasn't in love......he laughed and chastised me for even thinking it. I continued to listen as he again spoke about her sweet attributes and her flaws. I am convinced I am not good at interpreting stuff in relationships but it sounded like love to me.....mi nuh mek him none the wiser still, mi jus' mek him gwaan talk.
She and I share a birthday or sign or sumpn' he informed and commented that he should have known better than to mess with her given this fact. I had to question why. Turns out he thinks I am a harsh person in these matters....a budding Player he said. I let it slide cause it wasn't the night to challenge him on that revelation. I summed it up as an erroneous interpretation which I would clarify one day.
At the end of the session (3:00 a.m.) I told him to take all the time he needed cause we all need to take a break sometimes. I can't help thinking about it though....and I concluded that even the greatest of Players get bowled a googly once in a while. This made me feel better about the game I lost and I accept now that life is interesting like that.
Against this background imagine my surprise when he turned up at my gate with relationship woes. I knew he was with some lady or another, I didn't know that they were serious......turns out he has been living with her for the past 2 years...WOW. It was hard to wrap my mind around the concept and after laughing up a storm I gathered myself and was the ear he needed at the time. Di man mash up.
We drank a bit, beer for me, unchased Appleton for him (it really does taste better without the chaser.....in fact I will drink the chaser after a shot or two). He wasn't weepy...he couldn't live that down, cause bad man nuh cry and I would certainly remind him about it in better times....just for the laugh. I listened as he cursed her on the one hand for searching his phone and going out of her way to hurt herself, and on the other, thinking aloud about the bills he needed to help her with since the end of the month was here.....WOW. I had to ask if he was sure he wasn't in love......he laughed and chastised me for even thinking it. I continued to listen as he again spoke about her sweet attributes and her flaws. I am convinced I am not good at interpreting stuff in relationships but it sounded like love to me.....mi nuh mek him none the wiser still, mi jus' mek him gwaan talk.
She and I share a birthday or sign or sumpn' he informed and commented that he should have known better than to mess with her given this fact. I had to question why. Turns out he thinks I am a harsh person in these matters....a budding Player he said. I let it slide cause it wasn't the night to challenge him on that revelation. I summed it up as an erroneous interpretation which I would clarify one day.
At the end of the session (3:00 a.m.) I told him to take all the time he needed cause we all need to take a break sometimes. I can't help thinking about it though....and I concluded that even the greatest of Players get bowled a googly once in a while. This made me feel better about the game I lost and I accept now that life is interesting like that.
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