Not Business as Usual:(

My commitment is waning, but I go on.... it didn't help the other night to go out to a late dinner in Port Royal. Call it the moon, beautiful star filled sky, the sound of waves lapping the sea shore, but I was intoxicated, and it proved almost disastrous for my faith.


A bredren, who my stubbornness and his had placed at odds as far as the East from the West, bit the bullet and sent me a text "I miss you...". A weak girl can't withstand that kinda pressure, and knowing him to not be the type to 'give in', he melted my barrier.

I left work at 7..ish and we met at 8:30..ish....damn he looked good. Golden brown skin, arms bulging, cigarette separating long skillful fingers, his locks of hair beneath a simple black cap...he was naturally sexy. I like to drink him in mostly, he is so striking to me....jeans hugging, accentuating worthy package:) and a shirt that testifies to the hard work done in the gym....he was all man, and for the rest of the night, he could be all mine...the prospect was....exhilarating.


I like this bredren cause we always seem able to talk....quite naturally....there is no emotional issues between us....he's not my man, I'm not his girl, we rarely see eye to eye on issues but, we can always meet in the middle...surrender to 'done di argument' in the interest of bredrendom....he's my arm candy, and I love the attention he gets when we're out.


Over steam fish and steam bammy we chatted about the month past, what we were up to, a possible Reggae Sumfest date and the follies of the West Indies Cricket Board and the Players Association (WIPA)....a little celebration of the Australia loss to England crept in as well, Usian's 7.89 in pouring rain....Church and current affairs too, though I lack the constitution for meaningful discussion of these issues, its depressing especially the imminent return to the IMF.


In general, it was pleasant. A wholesome and irie vibe, until we went for a walk on the beach..... I've always been fascinated by the sea at night, moon glistening in the water, the odd fish or two leaping out to catch a glimpse of dry land....oh how I wish I could paint. The tantalizing allure of the darkness, a blanket to your actions and the wind and waves a mussle for your moans...its a good place to be. We talked about the ill-fated call which led to our taking a step back, he accused me of being too feisty (with a smile) and I decided to show him how rude a girl who had'nt been touched by a man in almost two months could really get.


The cool summer night breeze on my face, his firm tongue in my mouth..my cold hands seeking warmth in his pants, his hands groping my ass and breasts.....nipples set free against his hard chest, our temperatures rising....his fixed gaze as he fell to his knees and unbuttoned my jeans, it came down with surprising ease (thought I 'd chosen the right gear to avoid a situation like that:) Now, mostly I like to serve, but with that kinda treatment I relaxed in my role as receiver....with focused eyes he seemingly stripped the remaining fabric cover from my V and tasted the lust drenched flesh through the thin cotton. Hot red blood raged through my veins and goose pimples created a blanket on my skin......I wanted him.

In the back of my mind I heard the Holy Spirit whisper.."Stop my Child"...but I was unable to comply...how easy it would be to lay back and just watch him feed...I've been a good girl thus far, why couldn't I be his treat....my thoughts rambled wildly as warm juicy liquid flowed willingly from my core. My knees went weak when in response to me he covered my clit with his tongue and lips...teeth brushing the tender mound ever so lightly.....Could I really just give in? Another thought tiptoed across my mind as if not to disturb the moment....Could I just lay back on the sand and let him lick me under the moonlight...despite my doubts, despite reason, could I just succumb to the dark side...again?

Before I could decide he held back....." I just wanted to taste you"...and I was convinced that the Spirit had saved me from myself, through him. How great a God we serve.