Decisions

Like a moth to a flame I was drawn to cross instituted boundaries and now while I no longer long for the feel of a man, I am longing for more, much more from him......its unfair that months of work can be unravelled in one touch, one moment of real weakness, but should I continue to fight for control or can I just give in now....revert to the route well known, admit my failings, settle for "fuckship"?

I am hard to love....this I know.....and I'm even harder to like......the parts of him he is willing to give (owing to my untrustworthy nature) will not satisfy my soul, but it would stop a gap....... until I start playing again......could we survive another fling though????.....he at least gets me somewhat, and more importantly, I get him....Am I ready to abandon my life lesson in patience....have I mastered this art given the great teacherI had?....decisions , decisions