Today I am sad. I played the game of lust and lost. My friends say that I have too much testosterone in me because I see the man/woman phenomenon as men do; get in, get out, don't commit to more than a "co-habitational scenario", before you get trapped.
Yes, all this may be a manifestation of a deeper pain, inflicted in my youth by devils who swung more than the proverbial fork, from which the scars have left a bitter taste in my mouth, but it works for me. Of course my drive to conquer the opposite sex is also a reflection of an appetite for sex too great for any one woman. I am Scorpio, and I believe in the truest form of me, which is usually naked and on my back. I don't sleep around a lot though, but if I do decide to test the waters a bit, I don't fall in love. It would take some man to move me to that ridiculous state again. I learned the hard way that one should never commit more of your heart than you are prepared piece back together when the inevitable doom occurs. Its hard to piece back together a broken heart, and I shall not endeavour to knowingly risk it all again. You may ask then, "why are you sad today?" And I can give the only answer possible…..I may have opened up just a little too much to get what I wanted, and lost a little more than I could afford.
You know how the game goes. Sometimes you meet easy marks who are only too willing to give in to you under the guise of being a ladies man, or scoring another notch in his belt. A game that gives you some gratification but is usually very short lived and the sex may not be that great. That game is fine, but when you come across a pro, someone who knows that to give in is to lose, the game takes on more complexity and becomes a battle royale if one party is not as adept as the other at maintaining the poker face, or patient enough to wait for the right moment to strike. It becomes a "pussy cat in a dog fight" situation at that time, and the winner no doubt is the one who holds out the most. When faced with this situation though, it is hoped that one will recognise this weakness as soon as possible and either relinquish the hand he/she has, throwing in the towel and declaring the other the winner, or one may employ a new strategy, one which unveils a softer more secret part of you with a view to capitalising on that glimpse of genuine affection that was revealed. This measure should have the effect of disarming him, even for a little while, enough to wonder whether your confession of 'like' is sufficient basis for him to unravel just a little more.
Key to this approach however is perspective. One should never lose the perspective or forget the context in which the process had begun, along with the desired outcomes. The effect of revealing this side of you is aimed at enticing him to get to know just a little more about you, not for you to fall in love. It also offers an opportunity for you to be thought of as “falling for him”, thereby increasing your odds of getting him to fall for you just a little. Of course this may not be the sole outcome, as the gentleman could turn tail and run, dodging the bullet.
The approach outlined is clinical and requires surgical precision in its application. Revealing too much of you my have the effect of chasing the mark away, however revealing too little will not give you what you desire either. What is required is balance, and I have concluded that this method is better suited to situations where there is a genuine “like” shared between two parties. Sometimes just by admitting that you like him provides ample rope from which to hang oneself, after all, which man wouldn’t want to know that he possesses the ability to make a girl weak at the knees.
Another major drawback is that every so often the player loses herself in her revelation and succumbs to the sweet nothings being whispered. It is hoped that this fact is recognised early in the game or the hunter will become prey, and trust me, there is nothing that can even remotely describe how hard you will fall.
When one falls in love this way it removes from your psyche the very notion of holding back. When you see unhappy married people who really have only been married for a year, and ought still to be in the honeymoon phase, this was probably what happened. Judgement is cloaked and buried so far up your ass that it silences the little man on your shoulder. This is what allows you to act the fool and call too much, search his clothes, call his friends, and be generally stupid, giving up living your life just to be with him. All the time of course thinking that he ‘likes’ you as much as you ‘like’ him.
It is always prudent to think about the fact that “As easy as it is for us all to fall in love, it is just as easy for us to fall out”. Marriages end after 30 years, relationships die within 6 months, people we "like" become ‘bed warmers’ and people we love transform into our reason for staying out later than usual, going out of town too often, flying out to North America just a little more than you should need to, pretending you are asleep when he asks you to marry him.
It hurts, yet you keep thinking, that ‘if I just work at it more, it will be fine’. More often than not though, your commitment does not interrupt the flow of time. For those of you who were not raised as quitters, it will be even harder. We do have a way of entrapping ourselves.
You know how the game goes. Sometimes you meet easy marks who are only too willing to give in to you under the guise of being a ladies man, or scoring another notch in his belt. A game that gives you some gratification but is usually very short lived and the sex may not be that great. That game is fine, but when you come across a pro, someone who knows that to give in is to lose, the game takes on more complexity and becomes a battle royale if one party is not as adept as the other at maintaining the poker face, or patient enough to wait for the right moment to strike. It becomes a "pussy cat in a dog fight" situation at that time, and the winner no doubt is the one who holds out the most. When faced with this situation though, it is hoped that one will recognise this weakness as soon as possible and either relinquish the hand he/she has, throwing in the towel and declaring the other the winner, or one may employ a new strategy, one which unveils a softer more secret part of you with a view to capitalising on that glimpse of genuine affection that was revealed. This measure should have the effect of disarming him, even for a little while, enough to wonder whether your confession of 'like' is sufficient basis for him to unravel just a little more.
Key to this approach however is perspective. One should never lose the perspective or forget the context in which the process had begun, along with the desired outcomes. The effect of revealing this side of you is aimed at enticing him to get to know just a little more about you, not for you to fall in love. It also offers an opportunity for you to be thought of as “falling for him”, thereby increasing your odds of getting him to fall for you just a little. Of course this may not be the sole outcome, as the gentleman could turn tail and run, dodging the bullet.
The approach outlined is clinical and requires surgical precision in its application. Revealing too much of you my have the effect of chasing the mark away, however revealing too little will not give you what you desire either. What is required is balance, and I have concluded that this method is better suited to situations where there is a genuine “like” shared between two parties. Sometimes just by admitting that you like him provides ample rope from which to hang oneself, after all, which man wouldn’t want to know that he possesses the ability to make a girl weak at the knees.
Another major drawback is that every so often the player loses herself in her revelation and succumbs to the sweet nothings being whispered. It is hoped that this fact is recognised early in the game or the hunter will become prey, and trust me, there is nothing that can even remotely describe how hard you will fall.
When one falls in love this way it removes from your psyche the very notion of holding back. When you see unhappy married people who really have only been married for a year, and ought still to be in the honeymoon phase, this was probably what happened. Judgement is cloaked and buried so far up your ass that it silences the little man on your shoulder. This is what allows you to act the fool and call too much, search his clothes, call his friends, and be generally stupid, giving up living your life just to be with him. All the time of course thinking that he ‘likes’ you as much as you ‘like’ him.
It is always prudent to think about the fact that “As easy as it is for us all to fall in love, it is just as easy for us to fall out”. Marriages end after 30 years, relationships die within 6 months, people we "like" become ‘bed warmers’ and people we love transform into our reason for staying out later than usual, going out of town too often, flying out to North America just a little more than you should need to, pretending you are asleep when he asks you to marry him.
It hurts, yet you keep thinking, that ‘if I just work at it more, it will be fine’. More often than not though, your commitment does not interrupt the flow of time. For those of you who were not raised as quitters, it will be even harder. We do have a way of entrapping ourselves.
It is imperative to learn the rules of the game...ensure that there is mutual respect for each other's time. If a date is set for fucking and you are unable to attend, make contact with the other party within reasonable time so that he can make alternative arrangements. Don't get to know each other too much...I believe that all I need to know is how you like it, what type of condoms you like, how open you are to trying freaky things (can I spank you) and which side of the bed you like to sleep on (for those overnight trips), although if one is sleeping the formula needs to be revised or adjustments made to the chosen partner. Another important rule is to determine the boundaries in the "relationship". Don't make contact when you shouldn't, this may lead to embarrassment and disrespect, don't dispel indications of greater interest on his part, doing so may lead to bigger problems down the road when the fun has ended, don't let him know when you are upset, maintain the mystery, don't pursue the matter if you feel upset when you don't get him on the phone, you are on dangerous ground and may care just a little too much.
I write from a small island perspective so no offense to those men around the world who are confident and capable of dealing with a woman who just wants a 'for sex relationship'.
When taking a bed buddy recognise the need for clarity in your own mind about what you want. Men will say that they can handle the fact that you only want sex but you have to coax them into it...allow them to play the game (cause they know no other way), be patient. It is quite a change for a man to know that he serves one purpose and one purpose only where you are concerned, so be gentle but firm, give him time to deal with his emotions....thankfully they are better able get over being used than women so it shouldn't be too long. I cannot stress enough, the fact that YOU Need To Decide What YOU Want.....if you realise you want more, get out. You have a significant other, he probably does too, so why create strife.....remember its always easy to get over a love lost with another lover......use this tool, don't get caught up in the drama. Sometimes I wish I were able to play around without them knowing they are being used, but my heart is too soft for that, people would get hurt. Instead I provide all the information he would need and leave him to make the decision. Usually he will come to you thinking he can change your mind so be on the look out for requests for extra cuddling or 'hanging out" time, and repeated attempts to have you get to know him better.
If you follow the rules you should do fine. Pace yourself though, take baby steps first, don't look for guys that you think remind you of your spouse, that's asking for trouble. With this offering I invite all the ladies to go forth and conquer.
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