The Meaning of Love

A friend asked me on the weekend to define LOVE. I must admit to having some difficulty. I responded quickly and said that "its a feeling (like a toothe ache, you can't see or touch it but you know its there), its accepting the next person for who they are regardless of their numerous short comings, its when your tummy flutters at the sight and sound of his/her voice, its how human beings know that they are alive".

Needless to say that given her capacity for the practical, she did not buy my explanations and signalled that people need to stop enduring unbearable situations because of this delusion that they call LOVE. "Instead of allowing people to crush your spirit in the name of love, demand from your spouse respect" she said, "where there is respect, there is no room for half of the craziness that goes on in relationships".

I must admit to concurring with her in this regard, however, I am a romantic at heart and I believe in the power of love. Yes, respect is key too, but I would hate to be 60 years old and have my partner describe our affection for each other as "deeply respectful". I want the fire that burns in your lions, your chest when the object of your fascination is in the room. I want to say that I have experienced the love that makes you do foolish things, and survived. I want to feel my heart fill up with joy, anger, sadness all at once. I want that turmoil inside, I like the feeling of being unable to live without someone, if only just for a moment in time.

Maybe that's why there are those people who get hurt 9 times out of 10 and still try, and those who stay in abusive relationships. But would life have been worth living if one had not had the opportunity to experience the fullness of love? Yes, what needs to happen is that you need to take responsibility for you, you need to love yourself prior to sacrificing your heart to anyone else. This will allow you to make better choices in partners and ensure that balance is achieved. Moreover it will be the catalyst for removal of oneself from the binds of Love when mutual benefit has ceased to accrue.

My advice to my friend, and indeed all, is to keep on loving, keep on feeling, that's who we are. God loved us that's why he has put up with our crap for so many centuries. Can you find a better set of footsteps to walk in?