Blazing

I get angry too easily.....there's just something about him that makes me feel foolish when I fall and he doesn't provide a safety net.

It shouldn't be so easy for me to get angry at what he doesn't or does do.....It shouldn't be this easy to forget myself and where we are as I rollout claaughts......it shouldn't be this easy.....I have got to get this temper under some semblance of sustained control. Why do some men make it so hard for a woman to just be a fucking woman.

I need a little more than an exercise routine right now.....today......I need more, and unfortunately only a spirit with which one is comfortable can deliver the love making that's required to undo all the damage done by the 2 month break......mi caan leggo all this oil pan some poor unsuspecting new distraction........Afterall, a new toy couldn't find that spot, couldn't drive down until more pain than pleasure is felt, a new toy wouldn't understand that its okay to go deeper even though my hand is bracing against his chest, he wouldn't get it.....he wouldn't last long enough.

I guess throughout this experience I have learnt that I'm just a weak being...why fight a battle for celibacy........I can't win.