Dangerous Play

I got a mixed message again yesterday. I dropped him a note.....of course at the behest of my boss....on some of the issues raised in his expose on radio which had immediate implications for some of the work being done in my office. He read between the lines of my e-mail and gave me a call on one issue in particular. I was professional, I uncovered that stern voice which I am told I posses which likens me to a member of the police force or army.....at first he was unaware that it was meand I considered my mission successful.

Moments occurred along the way which, were I in a playful mood, could have been fertile ground for a jaunt down player road, but I resisted and stayed focused on the issues. When we had gotten to a Rubicon punctuated by silences I bit the bullet and brought the conversation to an end with obvious abruptness. There was silence again...and he asked if I were overly busy....I know my answer should have been yes but having recognised that he clearly had something more to say, I said no.

We discussed what would have accounted for my being awake at that hour to have heard the broadcast and why I did not seize the opportunity to call-in to ventilate some of the issues we had just discussed. I figured this was just the tip of the iceberg so I played along and we chuckled at the series of (what I now refer to as) ill fated events which unfolded the night before.

In the course of this new conversation he asked why I didn't call after the broadcast...I laughed and told him it would have been unwise so to do......he asked that I elaborate and my lack of patience overtook me...I asked him to be quiet for a little bit..... and as I gathered my thoughts quickly recognising that I was burning inside and my jawline had sprung into that usual reflex of clenching and releasing, and in an effort to exhibit some control I told him it would be better for us to end the conversation now and not proceed down this disquietening path. He did not yield to my urging...surprise, surprise he never does.......so I packaged my answer in pretty paper and bows and hoped it was clear but not bitter.....I hate responding to things when I am angry because I become incoherent at best and usually fall prey to demonstrating my dexterity with expletives of both local and international origin.

I told him that I could not and would not call because as yet I have not deciphered the nature of our extra-work relationship, and have treated same as non-existent but for one or two moments of weakness when I bow to the allure of the game. I told him I consider him to be a p---y tease and would not expect much more from him than has already been demonstrated.

He reminded me that I too have been less than accommodating in terms of us having actual moments outside of work related events....I can't remember when. I reminded him that we are both involved and that he has a ring on his finger, so any time we spend together has to be mindful/respectful of the fact that dates can be broken because this arrangement is not considered primus in our lives.....and this is how it should be......At anytime therefore wifey or my spoogie could wish to spend some time at that time so to remain respectful to all sides we, at times are forced to break dates.

There was silence.....and I was sorry I had laid it out as I had.