I continue to drown in indecision and am again reaching out to any straw that will facilitate my being able t rip myself away from this unknown entity that I have become. Have you ever been physically and mentally damn tired of being stuck in a rut? Enough Already. I have committed yet again to just being too busy to think or act on any thoughts of him...even now as I write this I am overburdened with work that needs to happen right now.....but still I procrastinate on expelling this enigma so that progress can be made.
I am even getting jealous now....and I hear the question how can you be jealous of a man that's not yours as well as a player..... and I am forced to acknowledge that this was the attraction in the first place....so let it the hell go. I wish I could beat myself into submission on this issue (knowing me I would probably enjoy that too much though).
I also had an opportunity to look at some of the other blogs and have come to a realization that I am the only snivelling puppet in this thing. Not that I am judging my own work or that of others but it just seems that people out there are concerned with larger and other issues...as they should be.....I am not even coherent anymore so that's it for this post. DAMN.
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2 comments:
it's hard to be coherent about ANYTHING when one thing is consuming your mind.
you've been reading different blogs than i have; any time i search the internet for new blogs to read, very few of them are looking into larger issues than what you're writing about. (i'm tempted to say "what's bigger than love" that that would be kind of trite...) people blog about what they're thinking about - and few people in the world are thinking deep thoughts.
Its just that I know I am a little more interesting that this...and I must admit to feeling foolish being this inept and honest about this thing. I am not accustomed to not getting what I want in this area.
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