Flashbacks

I have been internalizing a bit of news that came to me on Tuesday night......an ex of mine called to tell me he was getting married......he always wanted to and I was genuinely happy ( I think) for him when he shared.

I've said before that I have had just 2 great loves in my life thus far (unfortunately both ran concurrently for a few years).......he was my first (on all scores) and it lasted 10 or 11 years, I forget.....we had fundamental differences and issues as well, but we always did pretty well in the bedroom so you know it probably lasted longer than it should have.....he had plans of us living together in wedded bliss but never seemed able to keep his dick in his pants, but I think I was the "wifey".....while the cheating hurt...a lot, at times.....it was dulled by the fact that I too was cheating and also that he never seemed to have anyone steady (that I knew of of course)....I prefer this, men are less likely to have unprotected sex with several girls so there is some security in having him gallivanting.......safety then is only threatened by a faulty condom or something like that. When, however a man seeks to carry on a relationship with another woman he's not gonna use a condom, and I don't care what he says......frankly the woman wouldn't stand for it, usually.....unless of course she too is involved in her own game on the side.

Anyway.....we shared a lot, he knows me in many ways, he quelled my temper for a time, and he had the sweetest, biggest, thickest dick you could imagine.....I was in heaven...he also had a wonderful personality, it complimented my own usually cross, angry and miserable, quiet, strong type self.....he was the life of the party. But it was his partying that unravelled us some what...when you are pushing 28 and all you still think about is partying, then something is wrong....yes he wanted the marriage thing....which as you know scares the living daylight out of me....... but he also wanted to continue to live the single life....it seemed. Anyway we were finally undone by the allure of the Big Apple, the promise of opportunity, the glitz the glamour and of course, the city which parties all night long......so we tried the long distance thing, him flying out, me flying up...we both fucking other people in between those times, and it worked for a while.....I loved him dearly (the taking the virginity thing was a bitch of a hold to turn my back on).....he was my baby....unfortunately, he was my baby who wouldn't grow up. So we parted ways 3 or so years ago....with some "linking up" when I travel to North America....as I said we had few difficulties in the sex department and I likes what I likes.


Why does it bother me though?.....this news of his upcoming nuptials.......he will always have a place in my heart but I don't love him and we haven't fooled around in a year or so....Hmmmmmm. End of an era maybe??????