I got to bed at 3:30 this morning......It was difficult to sleep amidst the running video of our session stuck on repeat in my mind.....and I thought about how different our perspectives can be as people.
For me It was good, it was a beginning, he wanted me enough to spend the night, he was comfortable with me, he made me laugh, he allowed himself to feel good in my arms....he tried to speak to me as much as he could while we waited to board the plane, he kept annoying me by breaking my stride of not acknowledging him when we had made it back to the Rock....we had light dialogue as we waited to be deemed returned to the island by our wonderful men and women of the immigration department.....It was good.
I cant help thinking though that his perspective must be different. We have not spoken since the airport.....I hate to be the bitch who thinks that one night of fucking means that things have changed, and I know that what he is doing is probably the most logical and safest thing, but........I wish he would call to say hey...that's all...just a simple hey.
I don't want to be the always angry lady anymore, its weak, so I will try to deal as best I can on my own.
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Make up your dang mind!! You want him to stop "breaking your stride of not acknowledging him..." yet you wish he could call. Honey, make a choice. I wish you could feel the joy I feel right now,. I want to transfer from my fingertips to the keyboard and through the screen. SCREAM and see if at least an iota will be released. LALALALALALA>
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