Confounded

Its morning and the sunshine that crept in through my bedroom window was unwelcome...I slept last night, mostly because I was unwell....but i was glad for the rest....the body never ceases to amaze me....when it has had enough it just shuts the hell down.....I guess is a safety mechanism, protecting us from ourselves.....I have been working too hard in all aspects of my life and I need time to rest is the message I am receiving from my body.

Anyway, the evening did not pan out the way I had hoped.....It was nomination day yesterday and this marked the official beginning of the political process/pursuit for the quasi highest office in the land....I will not go into the immediate threat this period usually poses....you can read about that in any other website/page....I have resigned myself to think instead that as a people we have moved away from marring the exercise of our franchise with violence.....its a wish, a hope maybe just a dream. Because of the day, the backra masters released us early to travel home in relative safety....as if the presence of daylight has ever stopped the flow of things in this time....anyway I was glad because, as I said I was unwell. Of course I couldn't leave at the time designated...part of the responsibility of management....things had to be put in place for the morrow, so I stayed back an hour.

He called to confirm whether the word was go from the parent shop, but he prefaced his statement by noting that he intends to respond to my e-mail of the day before....I was pissed. I hate it when he does that. As if I am incapable of processing outside of this thing....why does he feel the need to do that? I thought I would let it go after giving the information he requested and promptly hanging up thereafter, but that wouldn't be keeping it real. So I sent and e-mail saying that he should never feel constrained to refer to anything else between us when he calls during work hours.....work is work it has absolutely nothing to do with my private state. I also stated that there was no need to respond or refer to this e-mail at the next occasion of our meeting/speaking.

This is what happens when you cross that line.....men think us incapable of dealing outside of the emotions....but Why? When we are in a meeting I don't usually think "oh God, is he gonna say Hi...Is he thinking about how obsessed I am with him?" ....No I steal a look or two but other than that the issues to be discussed are what I obsess about...finding solutions to problems are what I obsess about in those moments, not the fact that I am sharing space with him.....its amazing how men tend to place themselves on these pedestals....I need to get over this s--t so that I can rip into him when he does stuff like that...its ridiculous.