To all who have whispered words of encouragement and maybe prayer that I snap out of this ridiculous phase.......specifically to my Corner Lot Reggae rocking friends I say thank you.
I need to take some time to ......whatever, so I will be off for a while....a wise person once said that to continue to write will inevitably make the situation remain current in your mind and heart.....I am taking that advice...finally. It seems a time for finality.
Just to let you know though, that I experienced one of the loneliest nights ever...a lonely heart, a wounded heart has no recourse but to sit and wait for healing...I was quiet for the first time in a long time, I listened to that heart and I repented for putting it through so much.....and as the hours ticked by in the midst of the night I had no crutch, because I told him I needed some space.....he obliged, and how....so I am left alone, finally, to deal.....I see a trip to the country to recoup in my very near future....to recoup.....is that possible....and if so, when I get back, will the craziness start again?
I promised my heart that I will be wiser this time.....that I will not do the usual and seek revenge on man-kind with another game.....that the lesson from this moment has ended my moments of wandering....for now.
I remind myself always, that I am woman "unapologetically", I love, I hurt and I bounce back and live.
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Focused and Ready for the World Giving Thanks to the Father Above for The Gift of Writing, and His most wonderful Creation...MEN
RAMBLINGS I LIKE TO READ
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About Me
- Emanicipated?
- I am woman unapologetically. I feel, I love, I hurt, I bounce back and live.
3 comments:
Do what makes you feel better, girl! How ironic that as I start to follow your blog, you suddenly find the strength to let go and now I am left without your ramblings. I would like to believe that somewhere, somehow, God had destined that I would be your catalyst, your watershed aaah BUT that seems highly unlikely. I will get over myself. Happy for you but some words of advice. DO NOT MAKE ANY PROMISES TO YOURSELF... let it run its course, recuperating and rebuilding...stay focussed and maintain control of the bits and pieces that you can. When you make promises and they crumble at your toes, it will become harder.
Maybe it's good that you asked for space. Instead of masking it with his presence and love and dealings, do the healing on your own time and in your own space. "Heart be still" everyday we should practise that, meditate and recharge those batteries. BE HONEST with yourself, that shouldn't be hard at all, after all you have been honest with the world to see and share. REMEMBER THE GOOD DAYS...those days when for some reason he did not have that strong of a hold on you or you had the upper hand. Those days remind us that it was never all lost and that in some way we had some effect too.
Emancipated? Next time I hope to see a posting from Emancipated!!!
I almost forgot...the phase was never ridiculous at any point. It was necessary. Necessary for you to grow and necessary for you to heal but never ridiculous. Remember some things that are imperative and required for happy living are usually sacrifices. Can't have your cake and eat it..they say!
So you sacrificed some things, it was necessary. At least you never sacrificed your sanity. Others have pay that dearly for less than your experience.
Keep Strong Sister.
Sometimes healing begins by experiencing ‘…one of the loneliest nights…’ It sounds as if you had an epiphany and hopefully saw the little slit in the dark curtain of our universe; the one that has a faint light peeking through; It’s reaching out to you, coaxing you to step through… yes to the light and 'find' yourself again, the confident, unapologetic grace of a woman who lives and loves to experience life (nothing ridiculous about that) even if it does not give back what SHE would prefer. Return to love – the love of yourself and the beautiful person you are so the world can see you again!
The country trip sounds ideal. Would you at least consider tempting yourself to post the happy moments of your day? I believe it could help in your journey otherwise, I will miss you… smiles
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