The Cycle Continues

It been an interesting weekend...this notwithstanding, I'm at work.....don't mind though, needed to "breeze out mi head".

So I had plans to go to "Rebel Salute", a wick'd cultural Reggae show, on Saturday...everything fell in place because a bredren of mine also had convinced me to attend a"head stone laying ceremony/fete" for his father....country people have worked out a way to keep the death in the family thing going, and going and going, and feeding people along the way...Quite unnecessary in my estimation but people have their traditions, so I didn't argue.

This do was happening in Porus, which was all in the same line to Rebel Salute.....my added bonus was that I would have gotten to hail up my new "friend". I must admit that I have detected a little weirdness since our exploration of each other, but I am hoping he will get past it......he's one of those manly men, so I don't think it will be too difficult. Anyway, everything started going wrong when I called him and left a message that I was in Porus and he could give me a call......usually he comes up and we drink and chat bout this an' that.....he called back several hours later...what the..... So you know this girl vex.....I did a little phone sex thing with him and when he asked if I was coming his way after the do....I said noway....he got perturbed, I got further perturbed and it ended with my indication that clearly it wasn't worth it because he wasn't big enough to handle the just sex thing. One day my mouth and I will have to have a serious talk.

As is customary, when one thing goes wrong, everything else starts to go to shit. Boogie called, I didn't have the heart to tell him I was out of Kingston.....he had always accused me of having more than a friendship with my bredren so I decided it would be a secret....for the record, this guy is really just a bredren....too soft for me. I like my men cocky as hell and gentle in bed, he is gentle all around........ When, we spoke I could hear him trying to find the right words....there were several pauses in between, but I rewarded his effort with patience. He invited me to drinks......I didn't want to cloud the issues so I suggested a public place rather than my or his house. I gave my ticket to the show to my bredren, told him who he needed to hook up there and made my way back to KGN.

Of course I was late, I think I did the drive back in good time though, but then one had to choose an outfit which would'nt be overly sexy, cause we needed to talk..... I was also a little doubtful as to what I really wanted, so I took time to try to get some clarity. When I got to the location, I drove just in case it all went to shit...there is nothing worse than to be arguing and at the end of the night being stuck in his car going home.....He looked so good, he felt sooo goood when we hugged and kissed, his lips were sooo soft......anyway we talked and talked, and though I tried not to be the usual me...."vex nuh backside".....his thought process needed to be adjusted to see the reality of his actions, and I offered up clarity in generous doses......when I felt how vex I was getting, I told him I needed to leave......he eventually let me.

(Sigh).......I fell asleep this morning at about 3:00 a.m .........I want a world where I can get my way, just for a little bit.....is that too much to ask?