Actions and Reactions

Why is it that when one aspect of your life is crappy other parts become so complicated and challenging.

Its a blue New Year as I had expected, what I didn't predict correctly was the cause......

On New Year's Eve I was caught at work until after 5:00 pm (work ended at 2:00pm), it couldn't be helped, in the absence of my boss I was summoned by the bigger boss......as I saw Boogie's number light up my cell phone screen, I knew that this call was to concretize our plans for the night.....unfortunately I was in a meeting. I know I had an option to open the key and let him hear that I was engaged but instead I chose to reject the call.....because the phone did a mek noise by now and I panicked (its so unprofessional)..... As I hit the button, a spark went off in my head that my action would have been treated as an attack, but I had little time to think things through.

When I wrapped up that evening and was on my way back to the Office, I called.....he did not answer. It seems not responding to me is a catching disease......anyway, I like New Years Eve and I'm a firm believer in the notion that whoever you are with at 12:00 a.m. will be the person you are with throughout the year (I know, I'm too romantic) .....so I made 2 further calls which yielded the same result. As 10:00 pm rolled in and I accepted that I was gonna be alone, I got pissed and sent an emotional expletive laced message, the essence of which would have conveyed thanks for deciding that he didn't wish to be with me this year. Fuck.

You ask a question of one and the other delivers an answer....I can't win.

So we have not spoken since, but he is my Boogie and I am really pissed still, cause his lack of contact really just makes the situation worse...why can't men figure that out...time does not quell the fire, it stokes it. I don't think I was overreacting, its been 10 yrs, he should know that I would not take kindly to being stood up on that day......maybe he didn't care and wanted to put an end to the cause of his doubt and pain.....Anyway I know I should have handled the situation better but I am passionate, I can't help it. When did it get this fucked up?