I keep thinking to myself that today will be the day that I won't think about him...I keep proving myself wrong, for yesterday he shook my hand and after that 2 seconds of firm grip that all the management books dictate one should have, he caressed the inside of my palm ever so slightly and held on to my fingers as I tried to wrench my hand free. Mixed messages, what the hell does it all mean?
As we stood toe to toeing on a point of law and logic with his subordinate, I thought to myself that I had to get out of it...I had to flee so that no one would know that the very proximity of this man was troubling. I fought against an urge to react nervously and shift my weight from side to side, in that instant I ran through memories of him inside and I could not deal.
Thankfully, and I am hoping it wasn't because he sensed my discomfort, he bid us farewell and I continued to talk as though nothing was said....eventually I expressed a wish for him to take care as he disappeared behind the door. God I hate this....I can't think of anything I hate more.
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