Again

I feel a little silly posting this since I eventually lost this battle as well but it will stand as a reminder of my weakness and will inform my further work to overcome.

In essence, there was a weekend Retreat, the purpose of which was to plan activities for the next 3 years. Of course, ultimately some targets would be left unfulfilled, but we could rest at ease to know that we had "planned".

As I sat across from what I now refer to as my Nemesis, the following thoughts entered my mind when I became engulfed.

December 1, 2007

Tomorrow I will be glad for this opportunity to share space, thoughts, formulate machinations for bodies entwined, a wink or two and a smile.

Tomorrow, I will acknowledge the rightness of an arms length approach to committing this sin, and be grateful for the practice of restraint and resilience.

Tomorrow, there will be a better me, who feels less and expects nothing. Yes, I will be better tomorrow having experienced the now.

Today, however, I rue the very concept of the insufficiency of his motivation to fan the flame.