Relationships

Have you ever noticed that when you are caught up in.......something, you seem to get amnesia. For me, I can't seem to remember if I used to sleep throughout the night prior to this madness. Don't get me wrong insomnia and I have been great friends since high schoool cause I worry...a lot....this is different though, I can't seem to remember a time when he wasn't the last thing in my mind before going to bed and the second thing when I awaken.

I use my sleepless nights sometimes to wake up others and see how much work I can get done, or to actually do work-work.....sometimes though I find myself lost in thoughts of him related issues. During this period I am rational, I am calm and I leave the process with a resolve to bury my foolishness.......then I undo all this work between the rising of the sun and the dusk......and so the cycle goes.

I escaped to the Country this weekend....funeral related......but I used the opportunity to reconnect with some University buddies. In one case I connected too much.....and I hope we will be able to overcome this lapse...he is a good bredren, one who unfortunately I have transformed into a friend.

I have never believed in the "man and woman" friendship situation. Females and males were meant to do one thing when closeness sets in, so you have males you have not fucked yet but you enjoy stringing along....you have males who are just too sweet so you decide not to mess with them as a courtesy, but you know that they would die for the opportunity to be with you in that way,.....then there are the guys who, yuh know if yuh lef yuhself careless him will be on top a yuh (these are the ones I like, have to keep your options open).....in the great analysis therefore there are three types of man-woman friendships (always remember too, that friends fuck friends).....friendship born out of having been lovers, friendship cause you haven't quite worked out how to fuck yet and "bredrendom".

In bredrendom you know you could progress to sex, but you value the friendship too much.....he knows all you lovers, he knows about your escapades, you introduce him as your bredren, he knows a deeper part of the inner you....the bitchy part....and he doesn't judge you......you actually try to change the relationship sometimes, but usually when you weigh it out you both stop before you ruin things.....you don't talk often, but when you do, its for hours.....you make plans to visit each other, but they never come to fruition, cause.....

So now, my bredren is a friend....hopefully I won't repeat it......he knows that I was using him, he was there for me in the way I needed him to be.....the only way which could give me some sanity. I will not discuss how it was cause I respect him too much, I just wanted to "big up" all the bredrens out there and say thanks.