Thoughts 3

I wrote this the other day.....technological challenges prohibited my posting it.

December 6, 2007

Its my Moms birthday...I am not doing so well (Sigh)

So much could have been shared, she would have been soooo proud of us all. She would have loved to see the family bond that she nurtured finally flowing within the parts of the whole that is us....a family.

It hurts

I still try to remember that the Lord does everything for a reason, there is a purpose for this loss...my mind and eyes just have difficulty connecting with that notion sometimes. It did buoy me through in the early days after her passing though.....it kept me lucid, and I am trying damn hard right now to eek out a similar result.


I have buried myself in work, deep within the recesses of my office.....cause tears are flowing. My colleagues understand that I am sometimes moody and usually leave me alone to work through my issues, but thanks to the gentleman who shares our space I was able to get a hug and squeeze. He came in to ask how I was doing....he knows the history and we share a bond born out of shared experience with losing a mother to cancer. He told me that he was available for hugs, if required, throughout the day.....he is cool.

I thought enough time had passed for me to deal from a better place in this time......I was wrong.