Revelations 2

I am writing again.....Damn, this is not a good sign. With every thought I capture in sentence my resolve is depleted.....Damn.

I am too young in mind, too immature, too foolish. Oh how I wish I had just fucked him that first night, then I would be in control and this would have ended a long time ago. Then he would have been someone I fucked one night, there would have been no time elapsed between us to fuel thoughts of other emotions which may be at play.

I have determined that I am a useful distraction....a place to get his cock wet when no one is looking...... I don't complain about the ill treatment.......I suck up the bones he throws me every now and again..... I stand idly by while he flirts with another......I don't resist enough. I am simply, a non-threatening useful distraction....and I'm getting angry again at that.

I know he is playing me, I just can't mount and sustain a reasonable defense.......I am foolish, I am weak and he knows this.